POWEr

Power is the ability to manifest the things you want in your own time-frame with ease. (Compare the downloadable ebook Magic on the public ’site.)

In Chapter 6 of LISTEN…Till You disappear you will find a flesh out version of this three-step exercise for accessing your power.


Preliminary Step

Take your time and let yourself get quiet. Simply be at rest. 

Once your breath slows, notice all the thoughts and feelings inside you right now. 

Without getting involved in those thoughts and feelings, label them, for example:  “I sense some excitement brewing.” “There’s some boredom present.” “I feel a waft of anxiety.” “I also feel compassion for myself intros moment.”

Stay in the mode of observing all of this rather than being swept up in it. Take your time. You want to get to the place where you, the observer, slip into a very quiet attention with respect to all that’s going on inside and out.

In your journal, write down the thoughts and emotions you just observed. Then turn the page of your journal and write down the thoughts and emotions you have about the thoughts and emotions you just witnessed and wrote down. For example:  “I’m angry with myself for being impatient with my spouse.” “I’m tired of feeling unwanted.” “I hope I can get on with my life.”

Add to this list of thoughts and emotions any thoughts and emotions you’ve notice recurring with frequency and or a charge. Your lists could look something like this:

  • I’m not respected.

  • It’s hard to stay present.

  • I wish I didn’t have financial worries distracting me.

  • It angers me that so&so left with me so much unfinished business.

  • I miss the carefree college days.

  • The tightness in my neck seems like it’ll never go away.

  • You can’t trust people.

  • No matter how often I ask, the kids don’t learn to pick up after themselves.

  • It makes me cry to think of how my sister’s husband treats her.

  • I’m concerned that it’s getting more exhausting every week to climb the stairs at church.


Step One

If you’ve wanted to use your power manifest something, change something or just try something new, but it isn’t happening, then it’s crucial to first fully experience the cost of tolerating a life dominated by the stuff on your list of recurring thoughts and emotions. Not knowing what it costs you to entertain these thoughts and emotions, there is little motivation to give them up. What opportunities and values do you miss you on by swimming constantly in this same soup?

It’s equally important to familiarize yourself with the benefits you derive from harboring these thoughts and emotions. The benefits are what keep you in the soup. If it weren’t for the benefits, you’d’ve moved on long ago.

Start by writing each of your top three recurring thoughts or feelings at the top of its own page in your journal. Then create a column headed “Costs” on each of those three pages. Costs tend to be about:

  • Money

  • Health

  • Sex

  • Connection

  • Relationships

  • Joy

  • Trust

  • Time

  • Energy

  • Opportunities

  • Presence

  • Productivity

  • Love

  • Peace

  • Pleasure

  • Power

  • Integrity

  • Respect

Now make a column on each page of the top three recurring thoughts with the heading “Benefits.” Benefits tend to be about:

  • Dodging fear

  • Avoiding pain

  • Not accepting blame

  • Deflecting bad feelings

  • Receiving pleasure

  • Getting comfort

  • Feeling safe

  • Maintaining the status quo

  • Feeling good

Use the two columns to list the costs and benefits of allowing these thoughts and feelings to hang around. Bringing awareness to the costs and benefits will facilitate your choosing the toning of your life wisely.

Example recurring thought:  I AM NOT RESPECTED   


COSTS

I pay dearly in self-esteem.

I have practically no social life.

I don’t make much money.

Lots of time spent thinking…

No peace of mind

No intimacy

My health suffers because I don’t respect the body’s needs.

BENEFITS

I run no risk of losing respect.

No late meetings I have to attend.

I get to blurt out anything I want.

Plenty of time to myself.

People laugh when I talk about not being respected.

I’m free to dress however I wish.

I don’t feel the need to get up early.


Step Two

The next step in the process of letting go of recurring thoughts and feelings obstructing your power is to create something that expresses what it’s like for you to have them, and keep it in front of you. This will remind you a) that you are not this thought, and b) bump you back into the groove of who you really are.

For example, you might draw a picture of what it’s like to believe and feel no one respects you. You could compose a piece of music that conveys this. Sculpt a figure that communicates the experience of not being respected, if you prefer. Or, do as I do and make a collage of images that demonstrate the thought/feeling. The medium you choose is not crucial. What’s important is that you capture, in some form outside your head, the experience of having that thought/emotion. When we’re not aware of them, those recurring thoughts run our lives; they make key decisions for us without us knowing, they influence how we interact with others, they pick out our clothes and determine how to spend our free time; they even dictate what we eat and drink—until you get present to them.

Step Three

In your journal, record the things you a re beginning to imagine would be possible if you didn’t have those debilitating thought/feelings you just identified. What lies outside of their influence? Dwell in the space beyond the system to which they have confined you. 

Now, standing firmly in that space beyond the influence of these recurring thoughts/emotions, what new and perhaps bold actions do you see you can take? In the example, “I am not respected,” an action might be to ask for an audience with senior management to present an idea for improving the team’s production. Or you could invite the most desirable person you know on a date. Perhaps you will consult with a trainer about holding you accountable for eating appropriately and exercising regularly.

Write down all of the possible actions you would take in the space beyond the influence of your recurring thoughts. Brainstorm, even if you don’t take all of these actions.

Listen for larger changes that might be possible. Using the example “I am not respected,” you could get a job with more responsibility and pay. Maybe your father takes you up on the suggestion to fix and sell the cottage. Or, you give back to the community by serving on the town council.

Now it is time to go out and do what the thought/emotion you’ve now got under observation would have told you is impossible. Focus on one bold action. Remind yourself that it was merely thoughts that limited you in the past. You’ve got nothing to lose but your current identity. Let your actions be aligned with your purpose. Be free relative to the old thought pattern, regardless whether you get the desired outcome. When you take fresh, courageous action, you learn about, expand, and transform the experience of who you are and what is truly possible.